Read Hard or Die

The Beginning of the End by John Hagee (Thomas Nelson Publishers 1996)

As an evangelical, John Hagee, a pastor and televangelist out of Texas, believes that the end of the world will play out exactly as outlined in the Book of Revelation and other biblical passages. In The Beginning of the End, he makes the argument that the assassination of Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin in 1996 was the first step towards the end times. Like most religious fanatics, his logic is a little convoluted, but basically his reasoning is as follows: Before his death, Rabin was making serious progress towards a peace accord with the Palestinians and Hagee argues that in honor of Rabin's memory, Israel would finish the work he started and end the conflict with Palestine. On the surface, peace in Israel sounds like a good thing, but for those in the know like Hagee, it is actually the first of a chain of events which ultimately lead to the end of the world. Although I have always thought that the end of the world would be just a one act play, it is evidently much more complex, involving several phases. I wasn't able to follow it all but let's just say that it doesn't sound like much fun. How does he know all this? Like a magpie with a magical decoder ring, Hagee is able to cobble together his prediction of the end times from various inscrutable bible verses about fantastic creatures like dragons and sea beasts with seven heads and an animal that is a mixture of a bear, a leopard, and a lion. It kind of reminds me of a nerdy fantasy novel. Who knew there were dragons in the bible? Of course, God and Jesus kick the bad guy's ass at the end, and everybody lives happily ever after. Well, most do; the rest spend eternity in endless torment, but hey, you can't win them all.

It's been ten years since Rabin's assassination and the publication of Hagee's book, and neither peace in the Middle East nor the end of the world seem to be on the agenda any time soon. One would imagine that Hagee's prophetic ineptitude would spell the end of his preaching days, but nothing could be further from the truth. He keeps truckin' along, ministering to his 19,000 member flock in person and on the boob tube every week. Although I would like to think that Hagee and his flock of sheep are an anomaly, the truth is that their ilk are now part of the mainstream. Exhibit A: In what has got to be a low point for U.S. foreign relations, bible banging George W. invoked the names of Gog and Magog, two players in the biblical end times according to Hagee, when he attempted to persuade then-French president Jacques Chirac to join the invasion of Iraq, reportedly telling Chirac that "the biblical prophecies are being fulfilled." Mama mia!