Mexican Madness

They sell these value packs of Mexican comic books in a lot of the kiosks in the NYC subway system. I don't know Spanish, but I love the cover art. Since I have no idea what they are really about, I like to imagine their story lines based on the covers alone.

This one is about a cop named "Brass Balls" Baxter who doesn't play by the rules. He is always getting hassled by his captain because of his unorthodox methods, but at the end of the day, he always gets his man. Whenever things start to get hot, Brass Balls always says that he is "getting too old for this shit," which everyone finds to be kind of strange considering that he is 29, but Brass Balls only calculates his age in dog years, making him 203. 
Here we have the story of a cabal of evildoers who get all of their power from their amazing mustaches. They are heavily into white slavery, which as you can tell from the picture is quite profitable now days. They specialize in kidnapping girls with enormous breasts from their villages and selling them to yuppies who like to beat them with leather belts when the Dow Jones falls.
The brunette at the top gets school girls hooked on the dope. She goes to playgrounds where she gives all the cute girls free samples in order to get them strung out. When the girls begin to jones real bad, they are forced to perform unnatural acts with donkeys while being filmed in order to get a fix. The blonde guy goes undercover as a donkey salesman so he can find his sister who has become the star of a very popular fuck flick called Debbie Does Donkeys in Dallas.

This one is about a deranged killer who is driven into a murderous fury by the sight of a man in bikini briefs. He must be stopped before every German tourist in Mexico is gunned down.
The story of the unlikely love that blooms between a millionaire and his maid when they discover that the both love collecting leaves which they press and keep in scrap books.


This is about a virgin who gets a summer job as a towel boy at a posh resort. As you can imagine, all sorts of shenanigans ensue as he tries to get laid. He finally scores with one of the resorts cleaning ladies, a sixty year old named Roselita. It was truly a magical summer.

The raven haired beauty was raised by her conductor father in a train yard. Because of this, she develops the strange sexual quirk that she can only come when she masturbates with model trains. She is kidnapped by a debauched millionaire who has the world's largest model train collection, and it is up to Brass Balls Baxter to save her.